2012, you re blowing my mind.

Well, it's leap day! I still can't believe we are this far into the year. I always say this when I blog, because I procratinate and never get around to writing. But once again, my life is crazy full. Let's start with my auditions!

Belmont: five hour road trip with dad, sonic banana milkshakes, 8:00 registration, 10:45 musicality exam, 12:20 audition, lascia chio panga, last rose of summer, Dr. Moore recognized me, portrayed my songs well, got home after five hours of driving and countless games of bejeweled and majong. Good experience. I've been accepted to the school and music program, but I havent recieved any scholarships yet.

Dollywood:10:00 registration, waited for Mrs. Littleton in the Backstage Cafe, got called into last group, taylor the latte boy, used every ounce of flirtation and personality I had in me, got called back, died of shock, text everyone I knew, dance audition in pines theatre for hour, final audition in celebrity theatre in front of everyone, Taylor the latte boy again, sight read of somewhere over the rainbow and why do fools fall in love, acted out a shel Silverstein poem, and got the heck out of there at 10:00 pm. Longest day ever, so worth it. I will find out by phone call or letter if I have been hired or not. Will I get to fulfill my drem this year?

Carson Newman: 9:00 registration, 5 minutes in the practice room, 10 minutes reviewing music with super lovely accompanist, last rose of summer, lascia chio panga, and solveg's song, sweet judges, ate lunch with super nice slightly awkward musicmajors, spent rest of the day t home alone. Moderately pleasant experience. I have recieved $8,000 from faculty and $5,000 from the music school. I don't want to go there, but it's a nice backup.

I feel the need to add that that next Sunday, the president at Carson newman not only requested for me to sing the solo at church, but he literally got on his knees in front of the whole congregation and said he wanted me at his school. Everyone said they've evr seen that happen before...ever. Anyways...

UT: 8:00 registration, awkward schedule, embarrassing traumatizing violin audition, warm up personally with my voice teacher aka one of the faculty, fell in love with the faculty, per 'la Gloria and last rose of summer, left with boost of confidence and knowing which school I wanted to go to. I have been accepted to the scool, but haven't heard from the music school yet.

Phew. So crazy! In between that, I have been icesksting with my small group, skiing with the dorm, sInging the national anthem for a bunch of basketball games, and wonderful times with my dear friends. I really am going to miss king's when I graduate.....in seven weeks!

So guess what I'm doing tomorrow? At 5 am I will be boarding a plane to flaunt a, only to hop on another plane and head to Guatemala!!! I really can't believe that this tip that i have been looking foward to for a year is finally here. Even though I've been to china, this is my first mission trip. Agh so exciting!!! I better go to bed now.

Next time I blog hopefully I will know where I am going to college, among other things. My life is so crazy.....I wouldn't trade it for the worl. :)

It's here! Wait, what?

Well folks, the end of 2011 is upon us. Wasn't I just posting about the end of 2010 like....five minutes ago? Oh wait, that was actually 364 days ago. What the heck. Why is it that when life begins to get super exciting, it speeds up? Time really does fly when you are having fun. Well....here are some highlights from my year! God has blessed me so much.

The King's Academy. Why have you not been in my life before this year? I have been missing out.**

First professional audition: Dollywood. I lied about my name, was sooo nervous, and it really did help me grow as an artist because it gave me some important experience!**

Snow tubing with the dorm!!

New York/Washington D.C trip**

First solo competition-Third place in the classical category!

Sitting in on Knoxville Opera's rehearsal of I Puritini and meeting Rachele Gilmore!!

Choir retreat with Dennis Jernigan, I'm still affect spiritually from what I experienced there.

Rapelling down a mountain at the Eco Trip. What an adventure!

Prooom. :D

Spring break with my dorm sisters!

Lousiana Trip with the family, and first trip with Cyrille

Oh yeah, Cyrille came into our lives this year! Can't forget that!

Photography expedition to Biltmore, and painting in the gardens.

Sooo many wonderful trips to Dollywood. It is my second home.

Getting poison ivy in June. Not something I want to repeat, or wish on anyone....

Midnight premiere of Harry Potter 7 pt. 2. The end of an era....

White water rafting with my cousins!

CHINA. CHINA CHINA CHINA. First time out of the country, changed my life. I don't have the words to describe how much I love China now. And the friends I made there!

My first international gig: singing in front of 3000 people(and being on local Beijjing television!!!)

First semester of my senior year! Football games, homecoming, I actually participated and enjoyed having school spirit and doing all of the typical high school things!

Camping trip with the dorm. And forming my first potentional relationship with a boy.

Talent show-I won first place!! "Taylor the Latte Boy"

All of the many singing gigs I had representing the school

Singing at the Southern Baptist Convention in front of 1500 people.

Fall break with my dorm brothers and sisters!

Florida with my cousins!

Seeing Scott and Arnie perform for the last time in Christmas in the Smokies

Oh, and I got my permit ;)**

Getting a voice teacher! Cecily Nall is awesome. :D **

And...here are all of the things I am looking foward to in 2012!

Audition for Dollywood AGAIN. Yes, I am stubborn. haha

College auditions. Not really looking foward to those...

Guatamala! Leaving the country again, this time for a mission trip!

Senior prom! A date? I have the dress. Let the magic happen....

Graduating! Yeah, I really will be graduating from high school. What the heck.

Summer break! I'm not even going to begin to guess what I'm going to be doing.

Getting my license! Yeah, I need to work on that.

Going to college. Once again, what the heck.

Turning 18. Woah.

Aquiring a boyfriend? That would be cool.

Getting better at my chinese, because I really want to go back to China.

More solo gigs, maybe some that I will get paid?

More magical adventures at Dollywood. I love that place.

Growing as a musician, christian, and person. Can't wait!

How fitting that I would be ending my blog at 11:11. I wish that God will open more doors to me this year, and give me the wisdom I will need to make the right decisions in my life. Because this is the year where the decisions I make will affect the rest of my life. No pressure! For the first time ever, I also wish for love this year. I don't want to be alone and never kissed like Susan Boyle! Ugh. Anyways...

2011, you have been SO good to me. You definitely knocked 2010 out of the water! Thanks friend. :) Dear 2012, I can't wait to see you in a few minutes! We are going to have so much fun. And no, the world is not going to end! Yay!

Goodbye 2011, I still can't believe you are leaving so soon. Hello 2012, time to have fun! :D

I can do all things through Christ, who strenghtens me. Phillipians 4:13. <3

Christmas Eve....

It has been the most amazing week. I feel like I am in another world! My family has been visiting my mom's sister and my cousins all week....in florida. FLORIDA. While is is cold and rainy in Tennessee, it is warm and sunny. Palm trees everywhere, beaches, and the pool! I'm in love. This is exactly the break I needed. Two days ago was my brother's birthday, and to celebrate we went to Barefoot beach on Lover's Key! There was not a cloud in the sky, and the sand and water were warm. I was....in heaven. It was one of those moments that you treasure in your heart forever.
It's 11:11, and right now I'm wishing for love. I'm also thinking about the friendships that God has brought into my life, and my heart is so happy. HE is so good to me, I don't deserve his love at all.
Well, I guess i'm spending Christmas morning with my cousins, and not with my mom and brother. Dad's at work in Tennessee...this is so weird. I mean, they'll be over later in the morning, but the fact that we're not even at home is crazy to me! But we all needed space from each other, that's for sure. So I think this is a good thing? We'll see.
I'm going to go eat chocolate cake/icecream and finish watching Fireproof with my "extended" family. We spent today shopping at thrift stores, then attending their church's candlelight service. I GOT MY DREAM PROM DRESS. Details later. :D
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! God bless. <3

I have survived.

It is December 16, 2011, and this morning I turned in my senior thesis. Twenty pages. I still can't believe it's finally over. Not only that, but the first half(and my only fall semester at King's)of my senior year is over. I am feeling really melancholy right now. I am so glad that it's break! But as I am typing this, my dorm sisters and brothers are home in South Korea, Rwanda, China, Thailand, Japan, and Nigeria. And I am in Morristown. Well, at least until Sunday....thank goodness! Anyways, it just makes me realize the short amount of time I have with these people I love so much. I only have a few months left to witness to some people who I deeply care for, who are not yet saved. That kills me. Though a good thing is, in January I will officially be a student at King's for an entire year! Where has the time gone, seriously? Where has 2011 gone?! So many emotions are running through my head, and I just want to either scream, or cry.

I'm so tired because of finals, and so frustrated because I feel like a friendship and potential relationship is slipping through my fingers, and everything I'm trying to do to fix it is failing. It's a long story. Does he still like me? He wants to be friends, but does he still care about me? Everyone says that he does.....and I do too. But he doesn't share the same beliefs with me! He does not believe that Jesus is God's son, or that his dying on the cross and resurrection is our only way to heaven and a relationship with God. He believes that Alah and God are the same, and Jesus was just a prophet. He goes to mosque during break, he's read the Qu'ran, and his heritage is Muslim. There's got to be a reason God has allowed me to fall for him. Something good will come out of this....please Lord let story in my life have a happy ending! I don't know what I would do if I parted ways with him, and didn't know whether I would see him in heaven or not. Or if I would see him ever again...period. I have to keep telling myself that I have until May, so many people are praying for his salvation, and we ARE friends. I just miss it when he would IM me just to ask me how my day was. Or when we went camping with the dorm, we walked in the rain, and we didn't have to say anything to each other...we just enjoyed each other's company. I miss him. One day I will force myself to move on, but I still believe that there is hope. I can feel it. So I won't give up....yet.

As of today I am on Christmas break. Christmas is next Sunday. What the heck! I still can't believe it. Sometimes I wish I could just stop time. I know in my heart that every year I get older, and something about me changes. I'm not the same person I was last year. And next year, I probably won't be the person I am now. It's so weird. I look at pictures of myself and know they are me, and yet at the same time I don't recognize myself. I am grateful though of what I know now, and how much I have grown as a person. God has a plan for me, and I am trusting him in all of my decisions. So even though it's not 2012 yet, I'm already excited for the new year, and everything that's going to happen! But I'll save that sappy post for when this year is actually at it's final curtain call. :)

It's almost midnight...therefore I think I need to go to sleep. When I get really tired I get all deep and philosophical and stuff. :P So anyway.......Sunday I'm leaving to spend my break in Florida. This is the first Christmas I haven't been at home. It's so weird. I've just had this really weird feeling all semester. The fact that I live in three places makes me feel so stretched out, that I almost feel like I'm having an identity crisis sometimes. Wo bu jie dao.....ta bu tai hao. I'll be ok though. I only just push through! I pushed through my school, church, and violin Christmas concerts, I pushed through this semester, and I think I'll always be like that. We'll see. All I know now is that I need sleep, tomorrow I'm going to watch Sherlock Holmes II, and then go to Dollywood. It will be a good day.

mmm....goodnight world. Ta bu zi jian.....just goodbye for now. :)

Thanksgiving, my cases of boy crazy, and a bunch of other schtuff.

Just for your information, I REALLY like being seventeen. SOOOO MUCH. I have all of the perks of being a teenager, but I have respect from people like an adult! And, I can date people who are 18 without it being creepy. Told ya I was boy crazy. I've had so much "drama" with boys in the past few months, it's crazy! I'll elaborate. lol

I think in my last post I said that Chuck was going to ask me to the homecoming dance back in September? haha. I scared him away, poor guy. He wouldn't ask me, so I wouldn't go with him. I think I would of had more fun with him though.....maybe. He's such a sweetheart, has a really deep voice, and he's Thai! So he's a pretty cool kid. :)

Tom: Oh geeze, where do I start? This was a bit of a nightmare. I don't even know why I liked him in the first place! He's such a nerd. Korean nerd, bless him. lol Don't ask me why I like asians so much. It's China's fault! Anyways....I was an idiot and told everyone that I liked him, and in turn they told him. But he could tell, it was so obvious. Which was my master plan. I can be so stupid sometimes. :) I asked him out after study hall one night.....and he rejected me! I think it's really funny now, because now we're really good friends. It just cracks me up when I think about how freakin' bold I am. So yeah, that attempt at a relationship was a mini disaster. And my dorm sisters still tease me when they remind me of it. Oh well. You learn from mistakes, right?

Jahan: And then there's.....Jahan. UGH. I've liked him since the first time I met him. (which was at orientation before school started.....not like I remember or anything. :P) I don't even know where to start. I'm just going to make a long story short. lol For some reason I think God is working in his life through me, so I'm going to put feelings aside and settle for friendship. And just to make it clear, I'm not friends with him because I want to convert him.(just for the record, he's from Kabul, Afghanistan, and he is Muslim.) I've already tried to screw up our friendship twice by my feeble attempts at a relationship, and twice I've backed out. Well, the second time it was fine, but it's way too complicated for me to explain. Now I'm just happy that we're friends. I love our conversations, I love trying to make him smile, and I hope that by the end of the year our friendship is solid enough to last graduation and not seeing each other on a daily basis. He's one of the few people that I feel could stay in my life for a really long time. :)
And this leads up to the present, where I'm definitely taking a break from trying to get a boyfriend. lol The problem is that people don't believe me when I say I'm taking a break from my search! Yeah, I'm really fickle, but when I say something, I mean it. So there ya go. Not that I feel to the need to explain myself on my blog, because nobody is going to read it. Thank you privacy settings! But I will anyway, because this is more fun then writing thesis. I really like Jahan, it will be a long time before I can get over those feelings, but friendship is more important. I'm going to try really.....really hard not to screw up our friendship. Yep.

So why don't I change the subject before my brain explodes? Ooooh Thanksgiving

There area a lot of people at my house right now. Just for record's sake there are nine people, seven when you don't include me and Andrew. There's:
Joyce from Taiwan
Rebecca, HyunSoo, and Grace from South Korea
Jesse from Japan, but he's half Nigerian
aaand Frank and Chad from Thailand
They are my family, I love them so much. :) They helped with the Thanksgiving meal, and putting up the Christmas lights outside! Yesterday we went black friday shopping from 10 pm until 11 am the next day! It was amazing. I also had my friend Brianna over for three nights, and during that time we played pool for bets(I lost.), and I talked to Jahan for 2 1/2 hours at midnight. So yeah, I've had such a good break, I really don't want it to end! but I really need to fall back into the reality of my work for senior year. I have a 25 page thesis due, and an 8 page research paper, both due next month! Please shoot me to get me out of my misery. I'm writing the research paper on Jimmy Stewart, and the thesis on the history of opera and how today's culture has affected opera today. Yeah. I'm a nerd. :) And a procrastinator. Big time!
I better go, Frank wants me to help him with his science project. lol He's twelve, and knows more about Luis Vuitton than I do! Goodness. I think I'm going to write a short list of what I accomplished since I last wrote:
I have a voice teacher now!!!!! Her name is Cecily Nall, and she's one of he main music teachers at UT. :D
I won the talent show. I sang the Taylor the Latte Boy. One of the highlights of my year.
I've done various singing gigs for my headmaster to make up for him retrieving my laundry in Beijing. It's a long story. lol But I also sang at the Tennessee Baptist Convention, in front of thousands of people! So cool. :)
I have visited two colleges: UT and Belmont. Belmont is my #1, but I'm more likely to get a full ride at UT. I'm going wherever the money goes! Going to college. goodness. I've grown up.
That's all I guess. Let me just reitterate how much I simply adore being 17. This is the age I will be when I graduate from high school and start college. God has opened up so many doors for me this year, it blows my mind. I guess I'll just have to keep praying for his guidence, so that I walk through the one that is best for me! AGH He is so good. :)
Until next time!

So.....

Woah. I just realized that I haven't written in months. I didn't write at all during the month of summer, which is really pathetic. But, with good reason. I've had such a full, busy life lately. I guess I didn't really mention it, but I kinda went to China this summer! My life is changed because of China. I'm taking Chinese, I am keeping in touch with a few really good friends from there(and an "almost" boyfriend, but the relationship wasn't meant to be. Of course), and.....I think I want to go back and be a missionary one day. Who knows? Anyways, those were two of the best weeks of my live.

So now it's September, and I'm seven weeks into school. Almost a quarter way through my senior year, it's crazy! I feel so old. I'm going to be seventeen tomorrow you know. And i haven't even had a boyfriend. What the heck! I tried to though, with embarassing results. Koreans can be a little difficult, especially when they refuse to act interested AT ALL. It's like flirting wth a brick wall! And then there's this other guy......we both like each other(I THINK), and I would love to date him in a heartbeat. But, he's not a christian. It kills me! And just for the record, that's personal standard, not something banged into head since I was three. Maybe something will happen this year, but if it doesn't he's a good friend anyways. :) And then...there's a guy who might ask me out tonight!!!! He's Thai, and he's so sweet. A little socially awkward, but really sweet. He almost asked me out to the homecoming dance today, but I think I intimidate him. :P Only because I talk way to much. I just hope he gets the courage to ask me after dinner! It would be so much fun. We'll seee...

I'm pretty sure I was talking about something else before I got on this tangent. Oh year, tomorrow's my birthday! Man. This year has gone by so fast! I can't believe that a year ago today, I was sitting at my desk, blogging about how crazy it was to be sixteen, and I was saying goodbye to my 15 yr old self! Now I'm kind of doing the same thing again...but this time I'm bidding goodbye to my 16 yr old self. How will I change? I know I've changed a lot over the past year.....it blows my mind to think that not only was a junior last year, but I was at my old school, and miserable. The people that I know now are people who I had no idea existed a year ago. If I remember correctly, we toured the school on my birthday weekend, before going off for my Super September Saturday. And to be honest, I just feel like a happier person, a stronger christian, and I feel like I am living my life to the fullest. It's a great feeling. :)

I wonder what I'm going to do tomorrow? Tonight's the game and the dance, I have a violin/piano lesson at 1 pm, then family dinner at the dorm! But past that I have no idea. I guess we will see!

Sixteen, these past 365 days have been fantastic. I'm so grateful to God that this year has been so good. I'm sad that we have to say goodbye, because being sixteen is such a defining year for a person. And that was definitely the case for me! I will always cherise the memories we had, and will look back on them with a smile. So....goodbye 16, and in about 7 hours, hello 17!

Goooodneeess.

The bad thing about not blogging in over two months is that so many huge things happen, and I don't have the time or energy to talk about all of them! So I'm just going to make a list because....I like writing lists.

• Roane State




• Meeting Rachele Gilmore




• I Puritini Rehearsal




• Finding out that Ms. Thomas is leaving...




• Going to see I Puritini with Dad twice.




• Worship retreat with Dennis Jernigan




• Biltmore Trip with art class


• Cyrille coming to live with us


• Spring break!


• Spring concert

I know this isn't much, I might elaborate some other time. Graduation is next Friday, and then summer break! This truly has been a life changing semester for me. I can't wait to see what life and God brings me next!