Welp...it's here again. My birthday. My 18th Birthday.

My life is amazing. Let me get that straight first. God has blessed me with opportunities most people don't even get to touch in their lifetime. And as of right now, I'm only 17! I mean seriously.....what the heck. Last time I posted, I was graduating from high school. I don't know how I managed to do that. I have a lot of homework and I'm really tired, so I'm going to make this post relatively short and sweet. But basically this post is a record of all of the amazing unbelievable things I've done while being 17. And tomorrow I'll be 18. It's so weird. I know I'm still really young, but to me, 18 is old. My teenage years have flew by.(sorry about the cliche) So anyways....here's a lovely list of all the things I've done in the past 365 days. Which by the way have gone by way too fast. I'm going to blink and be 80. It's not fair! I will shut up before I go on a rant. *le' sigh*

• Birthday party with my dorm sisters. Love them so much.
• Many football games with my friends at King's.
• Homecoming. First time having crazy school spirit. It felt good.
• Won first place at TKA's talent show. Taylor the Latte Boy.
• Photoshoot in a tobacco field. lol
• Singing at the Southern Baptist Convention. Umm. Yeah. 'Nuff said.
• Countless Dollywood trips! :)
• Thanksgiving break with my dorm sisters! And Brianna. haha
• Christmas dinner at the dorm, and singing O Holy Night.
• Christmas in Florida!
• We got two puppies. What the heck. Yep.
• Survived Senior Thesis.
• A million and two college auditions.
• Many photography excursions with Dad to the National Park.
• Dr. O'Brian "proposing" to me at church. College decisions. :P
• Guatemala Mission trip. I'll never forget it.
• Rode Wild Eagle on opening day with Dad!!
• Prooom.
• Senior Skip day, Dollywood with my fantastic four!
• Survived doing a 15 minute presentation for my Senior Experience.
• Sang "Forg Good" And cried my eyes out on Senior Day
• I graduated from highschool. Wut.
• Went to see the Hunger Games!
• Super fast Florida trip.
• Fulfilled my summer bucket list
• Got my driver's license!
• Hawaii Mission Trip. Yeah.
• Started college, and my life as a Vocal Performance Major.
• Made A Capella choir!

And here I am. There's been little things that have happend in between. Friendships, books I've read, music and movies I've seen and listened to. But overall, it really has been a fantastic year. I'm throughly grateful for this time I have had. And honestly, as much as I hate getting older, I am really excited to see what God is going to put in front of me. I always look back in awe of how God has moved in my life, which utterly fascinates me when I think about all the things I don't know are going to happen in the future! I do get deep sometimes. lol I think I'm going to shut up and get started on my music theory homework, but here's to you 17 for all of your awesomeness, and here's to you 18, for all of your potential!
I love my life.

Wow. Just......wow.

So.....today I'm graduating from high school. Yeah. I can't believe it. The last time I posted, I was about to leave for Guatemala. That was in March....and it's May. Yeah, I've been really busy. I'm so blessed that God has filled my life with so much excitement! I don't even know what to say. It's so weird to think that this stage of my life is actually.....over. Didn't I just start high school? The friends I had then, I don't even talk to anymore. Now three of my best friends are from South Korea, Afghanistan, and Nigeria. I have an amazing roommate from Rwanda, who I still can't believe I have to leave in a week. I have so much love for my dorm family, my dorm sisters, my dorm mother and Staci. There are honestly so many emotions that are going through my mind right now, that I don't even think I can put them into words. How do you say goodbye? Hoe do you tell people that you truly love them, when you only met them last January? It's amazing to think that I'm not the same person I was at West High. What the heck, I'm not even the same person I was in March! I feel like I am more sure of myself, I am in the process of growing a backbone, and.....I have my first boyfriend. Yeah. Didn't see that one coming to be honest. And through it all, I've gotten closer to everyone around me. The administration, my teachers, even the cafeteria workers and office workers! King's is a family, and that's one of th ebig reasons that I'm going to miss it so much. Ah.....I don't even want to think about it. I guess I shouldn't act too sad, I have an exciting summer awaiting me. I think? I have a boyfriend and dates to look foward to, a possible roadtrip out west or trip to Hawaii, and of course college. College. Wow. I am not a freshman in college. Only through Christ am I able to not be worried about my future. I know for sure that if my life has been this full and exciting while having a relationship with Him in high school, it's going to be incredible from now on! I'll post later...... :)

2012, you re blowing my mind.

Well, it's leap day! I still can't believe we are this far into the year. I always say this when I blog, because I procratinate and never get around to writing. But once again, my life is crazy full. Let's start with my auditions!

Belmont: five hour road trip with dad, sonic banana milkshakes, 8:00 registration, 10:45 musicality exam, 12:20 audition, lascia chio panga, last rose of summer, Dr. Moore recognized me, portrayed my songs well, got home after five hours of driving and countless games of bejeweled and majong. Good experience. I've been accepted to the school and music program, but I havent recieved any scholarships yet.

Dollywood:10:00 registration, waited for Mrs. Littleton in the Backstage Cafe, got called into last group, taylor the latte boy, used every ounce of flirtation and personality I had in me, got called back, died of shock, text everyone I knew, dance audition in pines theatre for hour, final audition in celebrity theatre in front of everyone, Taylor the latte boy again, sight read of somewhere over the rainbow and why do fools fall in love, acted out a shel Silverstein poem, and got the heck out of there at 10:00 pm. Longest day ever, so worth it. I will find out by phone call or letter if I have been hired or not. Will I get to fulfill my drem this year?

Carson Newman: 9:00 registration, 5 minutes in the practice room, 10 minutes reviewing music with super lovely accompanist, last rose of summer, lascia chio panga, and solveg's song, sweet judges, ate lunch with super nice slightly awkward musicmajors, spent rest of the day t home alone. Moderately pleasant experience. I have recieved $8,000 from faculty and $5,000 from the music school. I don't want to go there, but it's a nice backup.

I feel the need to add that that next Sunday, the president at Carson newman not only requested for me to sing the solo at church, but he literally got on his knees in front of the whole congregation and said he wanted me at his school. Everyone said they've evr seen that happen before...ever. Anyways...

UT: 8:00 registration, awkward schedule, embarrassing traumatizing violin audition, warm up personally with my voice teacher aka one of the faculty, fell in love with the faculty, per 'la Gloria and last rose of summer, left with boost of confidence and knowing which school I wanted to go to. I have been accepted to the scool, but haven't heard from the music school yet.

Phew. So crazy! In between that, I have been icesksting with my small group, skiing with the dorm, sInging the national anthem for a bunch of basketball games, and wonderful times with my dear friends. I really am going to miss king's when I graduate.....in seven weeks!

So guess what I'm doing tomorrow? At 5 am I will be boarding a plane to flaunt a, only to hop on another plane and head to Guatemala!!! I really can't believe that this tip that i have been looking foward to for a year is finally here. Even though I've been to china, this is my first mission trip. Agh so exciting!!! I better go to bed now.

Next time I blog hopefully I will know where I am going to college, among other things. My life is so crazy.....I wouldn't trade it for the worl. :)

It's here! Wait, what?

Well folks, the end of 2011 is upon us. Wasn't I just posting about the end of 2010 like....five minutes ago? Oh wait, that was actually 364 days ago. What the heck. Why is it that when life begins to get super exciting, it speeds up? Time really does fly when you are having fun. Well....here are some highlights from my year! God has blessed me so much.

The King's Academy. Why have you not been in my life before this year? I have been missing out.**

First professional audition: Dollywood. I lied about my name, was sooo nervous, and it really did help me grow as an artist because it gave me some important experience!**

Snow tubing with the dorm!!

New York/Washington D.C trip**

First solo competition-Third place in the classical category!

Sitting in on Knoxville Opera's rehearsal of I Puritini and meeting Rachele Gilmore!!

Choir retreat with Dennis Jernigan, I'm still affect spiritually from what I experienced there.

Rapelling down a mountain at the Eco Trip. What an adventure!

Prooom. :D

Spring break with my dorm sisters!

Lousiana Trip with the family, and first trip with Cyrille

Oh yeah, Cyrille came into our lives this year! Can't forget that!

Photography expedition to Biltmore, and painting in the gardens.

Sooo many wonderful trips to Dollywood. It is my second home.

Getting poison ivy in June. Not something I want to repeat, or wish on anyone....

Midnight premiere of Harry Potter 7 pt. 2. The end of an era....

White water rafting with my cousins!

CHINA. CHINA CHINA CHINA. First time out of the country, changed my life. I don't have the words to describe how much I love China now. And the friends I made there!

My first international gig: singing in front of 3000 people(and being on local Beijjing television!!!)

First semester of my senior year! Football games, homecoming, I actually participated and enjoyed having school spirit and doing all of the typical high school things!

Camping trip with the dorm. And forming my first potentional relationship with a boy.

Talent show-I won first place!! "Taylor the Latte Boy"

All of the many singing gigs I had representing the school

Singing at the Southern Baptist Convention in front of 1500 people.

Fall break with my dorm brothers and sisters!

Florida with my cousins!

Seeing Scott and Arnie perform for the last time in Christmas in the Smokies

Oh, and I got my permit ;)**

Getting a voice teacher! Cecily Nall is awesome. :D **

And...here are all of the things I am looking foward to in 2012!

Audition for Dollywood AGAIN. Yes, I am stubborn. haha

College auditions. Not really looking foward to those...

Guatamala! Leaving the country again, this time for a mission trip!

Senior prom! A date? I have the dress. Let the magic happen....

Graduating! Yeah, I really will be graduating from high school. What the heck.

Summer break! I'm not even going to begin to guess what I'm going to be doing.

Getting my license! Yeah, I need to work on that.

Going to college. Once again, what the heck.

Turning 18. Woah.

Aquiring a boyfriend? That would be cool.

Getting better at my chinese, because I really want to go back to China.

More solo gigs, maybe some that I will get paid?

More magical adventures at Dollywood. I love that place.

Growing as a musician, christian, and person. Can't wait!

How fitting that I would be ending my blog at 11:11. I wish that God will open more doors to me this year, and give me the wisdom I will need to make the right decisions in my life. Because this is the year where the decisions I make will affect the rest of my life. No pressure! For the first time ever, I also wish for love this year. I don't want to be alone and never kissed like Susan Boyle! Ugh. Anyways...

2011, you have been SO good to me. You definitely knocked 2010 out of the water! Thanks friend. :) Dear 2012, I can't wait to see you in a few minutes! We are going to have so much fun. And no, the world is not going to end! Yay!

Goodbye 2011, I still can't believe you are leaving so soon. Hello 2012, time to have fun! :D

I can do all things through Christ, who strenghtens me. Phillipians 4:13. <3

Christmas Eve....

It has been the most amazing week. I feel like I am in another world! My family has been visiting my mom's sister and my cousins all week....in florida. FLORIDA. While is is cold and rainy in Tennessee, it is warm and sunny. Palm trees everywhere, beaches, and the pool! I'm in love. This is exactly the break I needed. Two days ago was my brother's birthday, and to celebrate we went to Barefoot beach on Lover's Key! There was not a cloud in the sky, and the sand and water were warm. I was....in heaven. It was one of those moments that you treasure in your heart forever.
It's 11:11, and right now I'm wishing for love. I'm also thinking about the friendships that God has brought into my life, and my heart is so happy. HE is so good to me, I don't deserve his love at all.
Well, I guess i'm spending Christmas morning with my cousins, and not with my mom and brother. Dad's at work in Tennessee...this is so weird. I mean, they'll be over later in the morning, but the fact that we're not even at home is crazy to me! But we all needed space from each other, that's for sure. So I think this is a good thing? We'll see.
I'm going to go eat chocolate cake/icecream and finish watching Fireproof with my "extended" family. We spent today shopping at thrift stores, then attending their church's candlelight service. I GOT MY DREAM PROM DRESS. Details later. :D
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! God bless. <3

I have survived.

It is December 16, 2011, and this morning I turned in my senior thesis. Twenty pages. I still can't believe it's finally over. Not only that, but the first half(and my only fall semester at King's)of my senior year is over. I am feeling really melancholy right now. I am so glad that it's break! But as I am typing this, my dorm sisters and brothers are home in South Korea, Rwanda, China, Thailand, Japan, and Nigeria. And I am in Morristown. Well, at least until Sunday....thank goodness! Anyways, it just makes me realize the short amount of time I have with these people I love so much. I only have a few months left to witness to some people who I deeply care for, who are not yet saved. That kills me. Though a good thing is, in January I will officially be a student at King's for an entire year! Where has the time gone, seriously? Where has 2011 gone?! So many emotions are running through my head, and I just want to either scream, or cry.

I'm so tired because of finals, and so frustrated because I feel like a friendship and potential relationship is slipping through my fingers, and everything I'm trying to do to fix it is failing. It's a long story. Does he still like me? He wants to be friends, but does he still care about me? Everyone says that he does.....and I do too. But he doesn't share the same beliefs with me! He does not believe that Jesus is God's son, or that his dying on the cross and resurrection is our only way to heaven and a relationship with God. He believes that Alah and God are the same, and Jesus was just a prophet. He goes to mosque during break, he's read the Qu'ran, and his heritage is Muslim. There's got to be a reason God has allowed me to fall for him. Something good will come out of this....please Lord let story in my life have a happy ending! I don't know what I would do if I parted ways with him, and didn't know whether I would see him in heaven or not. Or if I would see him ever again...period. I have to keep telling myself that I have until May, so many people are praying for his salvation, and we ARE friends. I just miss it when he would IM me just to ask me how my day was. Or when we went camping with the dorm, we walked in the rain, and we didn't have to say anything to each other...we just enjoyed each other's company. I miss him. One day I will force myself to move on, but I still believe that there is hope. I can feel it. So I won't give up....yet.

As of today I am on Christmas break. Christmas is next Sunday. What the heck! I still can't believe it. Sometimes I wish I could just stop time. I know in my heart that every year I get older, and something about me changes. I'm not the same person I was last year. And next year, I probably won't be the person I am now. It's so weird. I look at pictures of myself and know they are me, and yet at the same time I don't recognize myself. I am grateful though of what I know now, and how much I have grown as a person. God has a plan for me, and I am trusting him in all of my decisions. So even though it's not 2012 yet, I'm already excited for the new year, and everything that's going to happen! But I'll save that sappy post for when this year is actually at it's final curtain call. :)

It's almost midnight...therefore I think I need to go to sleep. When I get really tired I get all deep and philosophical and stuff. :P So anyway.......Sunday I'm leaving to spend my break in Florida. This is the first Christmas I haven't been at home. It's so weird. I've just had this really weird feeling all semester. The fact that I live in three places makes me feel so stretched out, that I almost feel like I'm having an identity crisis sometimes. Wo bu jie dao.....ta bu tai hao. I'll be ok though. I only just push through! I pushed through my school, church, and violin Christmas concerts, I pushed through this semester, and I think I'll always be like that. We'll see. All I know now is that I need sleep, tomorrow I'm going to watch Sherlock Holmes II, and then go to Dollywood. It will be a good day.

mmm....goodnight world. Ta bu zi jian.....just goodbye for now. :)

Thanksgiving, my cases of boy crazy, and a bunch of other schtuff.

Just for your information, I REALLY like being seventeen. SOOOO MUCH. I have all of the perks of being a teenager, but I have respect from people like an adult! And, I can date people who are 18 without it being creepy. Told ya I was boy crazy. I've had so much "drama" with boys in the past few months, it's crazy! I'll elaborate. lol

I think in my last post I said that Chuck was going to ask me to the homecoming dance back in September? haha. I scared him away, poor guy. He wouldn't ask me, so I wouldn't go with him. I think I would of had more fun with him though.....maybe. He's such a sweetheart, has a really deep voice, and he's Thai! So he's a pretty cool kid. :)

Tom: Oh geeze, where do I start? This was a bit of a nightmare. I don't even know why I liked him in the first place! He's such a nerd. Korean nerd, bless him. lol Don't ask me why I like asians so much. It's China's fault! Anyways....I was an idiot and told everyone that I liked him, and in turn they told him. But he could tell, it was so obvious. Which was my master plan. I can be so stupid sometimes. :) I asked him out after study hall one night.....and he rejected me! I think it's really funny now, because now we're really good friends. It just cracks me up when I think about how freakin' bold I am. So yeah, that attempt at a relationship was a mini disaster. And my dorm sisters still tease me when they remind me of it. Oh well. You learn from mistakes, right?

Jahan: And then there's.....Jahan. UGH. I've liked him since the first time I met him. (which was at orientation before school started.....not like I remember or anything. :P) I don't even know where to start. I'm just going to make a long story short. lol For some reason I think God is working in his life through me, so I'm going to put feelings aside and settle for friendship. And just to make it clear, I'm not friends with him because I want to convert him.(just for the record, he's from Kabul, Afghanistan, and he is Muslim.) I've already tried to screw up our friendship twice by my feeble attempts at a relationship, and twice I've backed out. Well, the second time it was fine, but it's way too complicated for me to explain. Now I'm just happy that we're friends. I love our conversations, I love trying to make him smile, and I hope that by the end of the year our friendship is solid enough to last graduation and not seeing each other on a daily basis. He's one of the few people that I feel could stay in my life for a really long time. :)
And this leads up to the present, where I'm definitely taking a break from trying to get a boyfriend. lol The problem is that people don't believe me when I say I'm taking a break from my search! Yeah, I'm really fickle, but when I say something, I mean it. So there ya go. Not that I feel to the need to explain myself on my blog, because nobody is going to read it. Thank you privacy settings! But I will anyway, because this is more fun then writing thesis. I really like Jahan, it will be a long time before I can get over those feelings, but friendship is more important. I'm going to try really.....really hard not to screw up our friendship. Yep.

So why don't I change the subject before my brain explodes? Ooooh Thanksgiving

There area a lot of people at my house right now. Just for record's sake there are nine people, seven when you don't include me and Andrew. There's:
Joyce from Taiwan
Rebecca, HyunSoo, and Grace from South Korea
Jesse from Japan, but he's half Nigerian
aaand Frank and Chad from Thailand
They are my family, I love them so much. :) They helped with the Thanksgiving meal, and putting up the Christmas lights outside! Yesterday we went black friday shopping from 10 pm until 11 am the next day! It was amazing. I also had my friend Brianna over for three nights, and during that time we played pool for bets(I lost.), and I talked to Jahan for 2 1/2 hours at midnight. So yeah, I've had such a good break, I really don't want it to end! but I really need to fall back into the reality of my work for senior year. I have a 25 page thesis due, and an 8 page research paper, both due next month! Please shoot me to get me out of my misery. I'm writing the research paper on Jimmy Stewart, and the thesis on the history of opera and how today's culture has affected opera today. Yeah. I'm a nerd. :) And a procrastinator. Big time!
I better go, Frank wants me to help him with his science project. lol He's twelve, and knows more about Luis Vuitton than I do! Goodness. I think I'm going to write a short list of what I accomplished since I last wrote:
I have a voice teacher now!!!!! Her name is Cecily Nall, and she's one of he main music teachers at UT. :D
I won the talent show. I sang the Taylor the Latte Boy. One of the highlights of my year.
I've done various singing gigs for my headmaster to make up for him retrieving my laundry in Beijing. It's a long story. lol But I also sang at the Tennessee Baptist Convention, in front of thousands of people! So cool. :)
I have visited two colleges: UT and Belmont. Belmont is my #1, but I'm more likely to get a full ride at UT. I'm going wherever the money goes! Going to college. goodness. I've grown up.
That's all I guess. Let me just reitterate how much I simply adore being 17. This is the age I will be when I graduate from high school and start college. God has opened up so many doors for me this year, it blows my mind. I guess I'll just have to keep praying for his guidence, so that I walk through the one that is best for me! AGH He is so good. :)
Until next time!